The Yesterday Clock
The timepiece of tomorrow tells the time of yesterday! Every glance reveals, with total accuracy, what time it was this hour one day ago. You can never be late again, citizen, because you already were! Punctuality, freed at last from the tyranny of the present.
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★ Shipped across the void — free! Arrives in 5–7 business days.
Technical marvels & measurements
| Functions | 0 |
|---|---|
| Accuracy | Perfect, 24 hours late |
| Hands | 2, both committed |
| Punctuality | Guaranteed, retroactively |
| Movement | Swiss, unhurried |
| Point of origin | The edge of the observable universe |
| Certificate no. | 0000-000-000 |
“I consult it every morning, citizen, to learn what yesterday held. Astonishing!”
— Captain Null, The Man of Nothing