The Loading Bar
Behold the bar that science cannot finish! It holds at 94% today, tomorrow, and forever! Hang it in the parlor and enjoy the one task that will never disappoint you by ending!
1
★ Shipped across the void — free! Arrives in 5–7 business days.
Technical marvels & measurements
| Functions | 0 |
|---|---|
| Progress | 94%, eternally |
| Estimated completion | Never! |
| Frame | Anodized, museum-grade |
| Diodes | 1, devoted |
| Point of origin | The edge of the observable universe |
| Certificate no. | 0000-000-000 |
“Ninety-four percent, citizen! The final six belong to no man!”
— Captain Null, The Man of Nothing