The Airplane-Mode Router
A router of tremendous presence! It blinks with authority! It hums with purpose! It is connected to absolutely nothing, and it will connect you to nothing, with the quiet confidence of the modern age!
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★ Shipped across the void — free! Arrives in 5–7 business days.
Technical marvels & measurements
| Functions | 0 |
|---|---|
| Antennae | 4, decorative |
| Diodes | 12, blinking proudly |
| Networks detected | None. None sought. |
| Signal range | Unlimited (no signal) |
| Point of origin | The edge of the observable universe |
| Certificate no. | 0000-000-000 |
“The strongest connection, citizen, is none at all!”
— Captain Null, The Man of Nothing